Avoidance: a huge time waster

Years ago, I went on a course that introduced me to the idea of “Eat That Frog.”

I can’t remember everything I learned on that course, but I do remember the frog concept.

At the time I had a mountain of things that I kept putting off. Awkward phone calls. Emails. A complaint I needed to make. A conversation that was overdue. Forms to fill in. All those slightly irritating jobs that somehow I continually moved from today’s list to tomorrow’s.

The trainer called them frogs. And the idea is to: eat the frog. Get it done.

Eat them while they're still tadpoles

I realised that if I was to deal with these things when they were still small, ‘tadpole-sized’ problems, then they didn’t get the opportunity to turn into great big hairy ‘toads’ that were considerably harder to deal with and much harder to swallow!

AND the amount of time I spent thinking about a task was often completely disproportionate to the amount of time it actually took to do it.

I knew I needed to make that phone call. I’d think ‘I’ll schedule it tomorrow’ and for good measure I’d add it to my ‘to do’ list. Then I didn’t make the call. In the middle of the night I’d wake up worrying that I didn’t make the call and spend time planning it and worrying about it. Only to start again the next day and add it to my new ‘to do’ list. On and on. This could go on for several days or if I am honest about some tasks, several weeks. Frustration mounting about my procrastination and failure to get it done. What a waste of time. Then when I did finally ‘eat the frog’ it probably took 10 minutes. 

Most of my frogs tend to involve calling people

I used to be particularly good at putting off phone calls, especially if I had to resolve something tricky, complain about something, cancel something or sort out a problem. I could spend far longer thinking about making the call than it would ever take to actually make it.

What I’ve become much better at doing is noticing that I’m doing it. Why am I putting off? What is stopping me doing it today? 

Is it just avoidance? Or is there a genuine reason to plan for it another time - like needing a better slot or needing some other resource. 

If it is just avoidance then I’ll often call it my frog and put it at the top of my list and do it first.

And most of the time I finish the call and think:

What was all the fuss about? 

Notice what actually gets you into action

Of course, not every frog is a ten-minute phone call. Some things we avoid really are difficult and do need planning or might need some help. 

So here’s a couple of things to notice: 

What are your frogs? What do you keep putting off? It might be calls, like me or it might be conversations that you find tricky? Maybe it is sorting out clutter in your house? Or booking health appointments that are a bit awkward. 

Identify the things first - now you know that these are tricky for you. You can now label them frogs and think about ways to get them done first, do them early before they get bigger and bigger. 

What eventually makes you take action?

Are you like me - a deadline junkie? I often do things at the last minute because I HAVE to. If a looming deadline finally gets you moving, could you create an earlier deadline for yourself?

Do you do things because you’ve committed to someone else that you are doing it? I am better at turning up to something when I have agreed to meet someone else. Not so much if it is just me. If accountability works, who could you tell?

Perhaps you work better at a particular time of day. Mornings are generally when I am most productive, so nowadays I deliberately commit to a difficult task in the morning rather than leaving it hanging around all day.

It is worth noticing what works for you.

And if the frog really is enormous, don't try to swallow the whole thing.

What's the smallest first step?

Sometimes we procrastinate because we've made the task too big.

Remember - you don't have to sort the whole problem out today.

What is the first step you could take, if you really boiled it down the tiniest thing? 

• find the telephone number;

• look up the email address;

• write a scrappy first draft;

• book some time in your diary;

• ask someone for the information you need;

• spend 15 minutes getting started.

  
  

That first small action matters because it changes you from thinking about doing something to doing something.

We can plan and plan and in my case - plan. We can think and think - and worry. We can put something on increasingly elaborate to-do lists.

But at some point, we have to take some action.

Pause. Notice. Reflect. Act.

So perhaps today is a good day to look at your own list.

Pause: What are you putting off?

Notice: What happens when you think about doing it? Do you immediately find a reason to leave it until tomorrow?

Reflect: What normally gets you into action? A deadline? Accountability? A timer? Doing it first thing? Breaking it into something smaller?

Act: What is the smallest thing you could do today to move it forward?

Remember that there is another huge benefit to eating the frog that we sometimes underestimate. Yes the task gets done. But you now get back all the time and mental energy you would otherwise have spent worrying about it (and writing those new lists!).

So, what frog could you eat today?